What If… [Thunderous Zine]
[This piece was written for the Rolan fanzine “Thunderous” and was published under the name Gemma. Enjoy!]
Power, money, fame; it was all in his hands. The wizard relaxed into his throne built from esoteric tomes and drank it all in. Servants kept busy either cleaning or attending to his needs. His assistants kept busy with all of the mundane tasks he just could not be bothered with.
Success, it was a beautiful thing and he was going to revel in it.
He flipped lazily through the book in his hands, already bored as he awaited a meeting with someone who needed something. They all needed something, didn’t they. So many beggars came to your door once it was known you had plenty. He sneered as he shook his head, closed the book and laid it aside. He was just about to rise when the door opened across the room to admit his obsequious secretary and the humbly dressed whoevers he had somehow agreed to this appointment with.
“Saer, I bring you Brother Ludwig and Brother Tobias, from the Open Hand Temple in Rivington. You agreed to meet with them several weeks ago, on the heels of a conversation with Lady Eldermere,” the secretary introduced. He was a squirrely man with sallow features and hungry eyes, the kind of man who heard all and said little.
The brothers, each in threadbare robes of nondescript gray fabric, bowed their heads as they were introduced. “We are grateful for your time, saer. It is an honor that you should see us and hear our request.”
The tiefling huffed out a breath through his nose as he barely won the fight against rolling his eyes. He flicked an elegant hand in aggravation, the tip of his tail echoing the movement. “Are you here to plead on behalf of orphans and invalids?”
The taller of the two brothers blinked but nodded. “Yes, in its simplest terms, saer.”
“I have no interest in either. If one cannot fend for themselves what use are they? This is a hard world and they must simply learn to find their own way as I did,” the master of the tower announced as he stood and adjusted the cuffs on his well cut robes. He stepped down from the dais and stood before the brothers to glance them over. “I agreed to the meeting. The meeting has now been held. I never agreed to do anything.”
The priests stared at the wizard in shock, then at each other. They fumbled for words. “But we did not get to plead–”
“Silence,” the tiefling’s voice resonated through the chamber as he cut the pair off. “My decision is made. Bring your begging to someone else’s door. I hear they adore such practices in Reithwin Town, or maybe you can find wherever that hero of the Gate holed up. Let them deal with your needs.”
Shock rendered the pair silent. They were appalled, their pale faces betrayed that. They bowed their heads and turned as the secretary skittered ahead to usher them out. The shorter of the priests paused by the door to turn back, a measure of sorrow in his manner when he spoke. “I shall pray for you, saer.”
“Pray for yourself, I have everything I need,” was the wizard’s curt reply.
The library was his once more, silent and empty but for himself and so many of his treasures. He stretched and relished his time being free once more. It was a short stroll from the dais to his desk where he absent mindedly shifted through some papers. Nothing caught his attention so he meandered instead towards one of the many two story tall series of windows that filled the space with so much light.
“It’s mine. The city might as well be mine for how much they need my help defending it. A veritable dragon’s hoard of magical items and rare tomes sit in my command with people coming from the far reaches to beg use of them or better, beg purchase. No one questions me now. No one doubts me,” he mused aloud to himself as he watched clouds cast distant shadows across the city below. “I need no one and nothing.”
Hesitation came to his mind, an echo of warm voices from the past that reminded him of times before. No. The wizard pushed the thoughts away as he repeated aloud fiercely. “I need no one and noth–.”
The word never finished. The cloaked, hooded figure had moved with grave silence as they completed their grim task. It only took a moment to open the wizard’s throat, the last word he’d spoken on the heels of memories of those he’d sacrificed cut off forever. The knife was left on the floor, an ordinary weapon in an extraordinary place. The figure departed casually and dropped a bag of coin into the secretary’s waiting palm.
“The new master will be here at dawn. He thanks you for your assistance in this matter.”
Rolan screamed as he woke and clutched his throat. Cold sweat soaked through his shirt and shorts as he tried to orient himself. His heart thundered and his head throbbed as he looked around. He'd managed to curl himself in the very corner of the large bed that was now his, the blankets a wild disarray.
This was the tower. The dream… Had he become...?
“No, I can’t, there’s no way,” he said to the air around him with a shaky voice. The scent of blood was faint but it still lingered in the air. The room felt empty even with the plush, reappointed furnishings placed in it but a day or two before. It was foreign still. It would remain foreign forever if they weren’t here.
“I have to find them. I need to find them.”
Panic set in. He untangled himself quickly and bolted from the bed. It wasn't graceful, how he raced through the halls as he searched from room to room calling out for his brother and sister. Each empty chamber made his distress grow, his throat raw from yelling as he stumbled into the drawing room. Two sleepy heads popped up from makeshift beds on the floor. They felt safer sleeping like that, his beloved siblings. Just for now, they said. Cal and Lia stared at him as startled as they were confused, roused from a dead sleep.
"Rolan? What's wrong?!"
He shook as he fell to his knees between his siblings. "I thought you were gone. I thought this had all gone wrong. Thank the gods, you are right here."
"Of course we are, brother," Cal said as he put an arm around his shoulder.
"Right where we belong," Lia added as she took his hand in hers.
“I had… It… I can’t…” Rolan stammered as he clutched Lia’s hand and laid his free hand on Cal’s knee. Their presence grounded him and allowed his heart to slow its thundering, little by little. “You were gone. I had sacrificed you, and others, and… Was that who I wanted to be at one time? A power hungry monster locked in a tower not caring about anyone but me? How could I have ever been so …”
“That’s just it, brother. That wasn’t who you were ever meant to be. We were meant to be together, to keep each other right. It’s what mama wanted for us,” Lia interrupted him as she patted his hand, both worried and sad for her brother.
“How ashamed she would have been. She would have every right to be if she’d known how I acted,” he replied miserably as his shoulders sagged.
“But that’s not what happened, Rolan,” Cal chimed in. “Sure, we stumbled along the way but we’re here. Look at how you stood up to that mragreshem who just wanted to stifle you rather than actually teach you! And that was after you saved Alfira and the children on the road when everything went to shit. You were stubborn and single-minded in the Grove, Rolan, but look at how far you’ve come.”
“Only because of you both. I could not be who I am without the best parts of my life right by my side. I am so relieved it was just a nightmare. You’re both here,” he sighed with relief.
"We're home now. You never have to be scared of losing us again," Cal went on as he gave his brother a squeeze.
Lia joined the hug and left Rolan heartily sandwiched between both his younger siblings as they both hugged him tightly. “And we’re not leaving in any hurry! This place is magnificent and I can’t wait to see all of it!”
Cal and Rolan laughed as the tension of the moment broke. The younger siblings moved around their bedding so Rolan could join their little camp. They tucked in together on the floor, nestled close like a pile of sleepy kittens just like they had in Elturel in the loving care of their mother. They were safe. It had just been a nightmare, never to come to fruition.
